Activists' Community

Activists' Community

Forum Counselor: Michal Herbsman

This forum is designed to be a platform for questions, comments and deliberations by the professionals who use NVR and NA in their work. Please feel free to share your thoughts about various issues concerning NVR & NA and make contact with each other. There is no need to be registered in the NVR activists' list in order to participate in the forum.

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You can download here (see the box below) articles or presentations that were referred to in this forum.

Total messages: 127
Anybody know about any activists in Barcelon...
21:50 07.30.2018
I'm a Family Therapist based in UK. Recently I got a referral from a family living in Barcelona who are struggling with their 17 year old. Are there practitioners based in Barcelona that are using NVR?
Any guidance would be appreciated.
Thanks a lot

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professionals in Barcelona
17:32 08.05.2018
There aren't any professionals working in Barcelona that we know of at the moment. You are invited to write me in a private email about it, and we will be happy to try and help you.
Best regards,
Einat Stoler
Psychologist from the parents counseling unit in Israel

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professionals in Barcelona
16:08 02.20.2020
Hi, I am a professional EDUCATION CONSULTANT living in Ibiza/Spain, I work online and in my office in my house.
Contact hours Thursdays from 10:00-15:00

I speak, german, englisch and spanisch.

My name is Suzanne Frings, I am 57 years old, I have travelled a lot in my live, I am the mother of 2 adult sons, a former Steiner Teacher and a Social Pedagogue.

When my sons grew up I stopped working in schools and became an Education-Adviser. Initially I used to do this just for friends, who called me to ask for advice regarding the ‘little educational problems’ with their children.
Then friends of friends started to call me and ask for my advice. Eventually I realized that this is indeed what I want to do. As a single mother I have found myself in similar situations. Later on, being married to a man who is not the father of my sons, brought its own issues.

I have more than 30 years’ experience in Education and I have learned a lot from life itself. Education is the most important thing in any social environment, be it the family, nursery school, higher education, sports’ activities or society.
Whenever we confront an educational problem, it is very important to feel we are not alone. Even when we try to give our best, as parents or teachers, problems will appear. However, in most situations there will be a solution.

Any parent, teacher or coach might wonder, at some point or other: "Am I doing the right thing? Is my system of education the 'best system'?"
Whether we have a developed spiritual life, are well educated, open to alternatives, rich or poor, it doesn't really matter. We all make mistakes, simply because we are human beings. But we are NOT alone.

If you have problems with your children, please do not hesitate to call me. I will be happy to help you find a solution to your problem.


0034 603 379 574
0034 971181799

Thursdays, 10:00am - 15:00am

The first twenty minutes’ chat is free of charge. You will be able to explain the nature of your problem and together, we will be able to work towards a solution.
A full session is one hour long. We can talk on the phone, on Whatsapp or Skype. Sometimes one session will be sufficient to see a break-through. More complex situations may require more time. I often noticed that five sessions were ideal.
The cost of one session is of 35€ (to be settled beforehand by bank transfer). Further sessions will be planned as we go along.
The first session will be only with parents, mother, father or both.
During this talk I will ask you questions, and you will be able to explain your situation.
During the second talk I normally talk only with the child, depending on his/her age.
Sometimes it might be beneficial to talk with a teacher or a person near to the child, such as grandparents or siblings.
Depending on the situation, I would also like to have one session with the parents and the child together.
The talks will take place once a week. Between one session and the next we will keep the channels of communication open in order to progress towards the next talk.

Should your situation require more than five sessions, a discount will be offered.
More than five sessions: 30€ each.
More than 10 session: 25 € each.

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Vertaling boek Angst bij kinderen en jongere...
Ron Ottenbros
10:55 06.04.2018
Save the date !

Op 5 oktober 2018 van 13-17 uur organiseren wij een middagsymposium in het kader van de boekpresentatie van de vertaling van:

De behandeling van angst bij kinderen en jongeren.
(op basis van CGT en geweldloos verzet. Auteurs: Eli Lebowitz en Haim Omer)

Nadere informatie volgt nog, zoals wijze van aanmelden, sprekers, locatie, etc.

Hartelijke groeten,

Ron Ottenbros
Margo van der Stelt
de Bascule

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Smartphones and the New Authority - Article
Idan Amiel
15:35 04.18.2017
"Smartphones and the New Authority" was written in collaboration by a team. We see this topic, which relates to a social context, as evolving in a collaborative sphere.
As you can read the article on the website in the link here (or at the PDF version at the box to the left of this forum) we invite you to share your thoughts and comments.
This article presents some possible psychological risks concerning smartphone's use with children and we provide a rationale for the recommendation that parents give their kids a smartphone at a young age, such as ages 10-12. We contend, that as opposed to conventional thinking which may recommend the delay of smartphone usage as much as possible, there is an advantage when taking into account parents’ ability to be more present and involved which can better occur at an earlier age.

We would like to know if other NVR professionals from different countries think the same or have some reservations concerning our recommendations and rationale. We intend to take your ideas and incorporate them into further recommendations concerning this important issue. We welcome all ideas and feedback!
Professionals may post comments in the forum or those who wish to respond more privately about the issue are also welcome to send us an email to
P.S. You can write here in German or Dutch as well, after all we got Google translate...

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Thank you... and further ideas
Martin Fellacher
17:15 04.26.2017
Thank you for the articel, I especially liked the idea of the announcement when handed out the first smartphone...
I am ambivalent regarding the idea, to achieve agreement among parents about when to hand out mobile phones to the children of one class/group. As you pointed out in the beginning, there might be differences in how to cope with the challenges (and at what age) among the kids, therefore such an agreement might be counter-productive.

For a couple of months I am collecting ideas on that issue. Basically, so far this is what I found most helpful:

Adults often try to limit the time of their children's usage of social media (often including any other "screens" such as TV, video games, etc.) At the end they start argueing whether time is up or not.
If we take it the other way around, we can define "times without medias", which is much easier to stick to.

This leads me to a second, very important point: The example parents/adults are setting. If you have developed times without medias, parents have to stick to it themselves. It may be one important lesson we have to learn our kids, that we don't have to be on call 24 hrs a day.The most efficient way to do this, is to be a proper role model.

At the end, as you have implied in your articel as well, the amount of time children spend with social media might not even be the most important indicator. It should be the diversity. If children
* have social contacts apart from the virtual world, meet friends, etc.
* are in sport clubs or the like
* are exercising, spending time outside, etc.
* don't neglect their duties (school, house keepking, etc.)
the amount of time they spend with their smartphones is not crucial. On the one hand, all those activities reduce time spending on social media, on the other hand they show diversity which should reduce our worries about their well-being.

Does that sound comprehensible?
Link list

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11:35 04.27.2017
Hi Martin,
Thank you for your feedback! You ideas and thoughts are really important to us. I think your suggestion regarding "times without media" to be a great contribution/ its these changes on how we, as authority figures, approach this issue that will make the difference in the parent-child relationship.
As for being a role model, obviously I couldn't agree more. We as adults have to be more mindful of our own dependency on screentimes. I will add however, that in my experience being a role model in this new culture is a necessary but completely insufficient prerequisite. I feel that kids today are functioning in a different reality than their parents and don't feel that the same values necessarily apply to them. In other words, while setting a bad example will almost certainly lead to negative results; you can set the best example without it having any postive impact.
This new technology is definitely challenging us as professionals working with caregivers and Im finding this exchange of ideas really helpful in "bettering" our work.

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Martin Fellacher
13:37 05.08.2017
Hi Michael,

being a positive role model is not a guarantee for a positive Impact - I totally agree on that.

Nevertheless, there is no other option for us...

Let's share further ideas...!


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English presentation
22:36 05.20.2016
I'm at an University in Greece for the coming weekand the students would like to hear about this concept. All my presentation about "NA" are in German, because I teach at an Austrian university. So my question would be, does anyone have an english powerpoint or prezi about NA for me?
Thank you!

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English presentation
Idan Amiel
20:07 05.21.2016
Dear Denise,
A presentation in English about New Authority from my last visit in Berlin was added.
hope that helps...

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english presentation
22:47 05.21.2016
Dear Idan, very very nice of you! Can you help me, where can I find the presentation?

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English presentation
22:50 05.21.2016
Wow, I found it and it is really great! Thank you!

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NVR in a residential home
13:54 02.05.2013

I am the head manager of a residential treatment home for children/young persons with very severe emotional, social, learning and behaviour difficulties. The children are between 6 and 12 years old at the time of admittance, and at the present time we have children from 9 to 15 years of age living with us. We have two wards with at present 5 children in each (normally there would be 7) the youngest - up to 13 years - in one and the older - from 13 years - in the other.
Many of the children are very violent when frustrated (for various reasons e.g. their demands are not met immediately, when in conflict with their friends and the carers, when sad or angry with their parents). Examples are: Threatening with acts of extreme violence (killing, smashing faces, breaking bones, finding and coming after the families and so on), kicking, biting, hitting, scratching, throwing diverse objects, thrashing furniture and so on.

We have been studying Haim Omers work on NVR and also the papers about NVR in residential settings but none of us have taken any course yet.
We have made a collective statement of not wanting to participate in any violent act (knowing, that sometimes we are forced to hold a child to prevent it from further violence) and this has already brought about some good changes. But we want to move on.
Sadly I can't find a course or lecture in Denmark that we can attend, so I'm trying out some other ways to go.

This includes finding persons in this line of work who want to exchange experiences with us and finding workshops we can attend - if there are any.

So anyone out there who wants to talk or write with us is very welcome indeed!

Our residential home is situated in the capital area of Denmark.

Best regards
Susanne Snej

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NA training
20:09 02.06.2013
Hello Susanne,
My name is Michal Herbsman, and i'm a psychologist working at the Parent's counseling unit in Israel and also our International training coordinator. I'm pleased to see your interest in NVR and I'll be happy to give you some ideas of how you can continue.

First of all, our team offers workshops and conferences in Europe and you are welcome to join. Our next one starts next week in Holland, it includes a training followed by a conference (

Another possibility is that you can contact some individuals and organizations in Denmark that have already implemented NVR in their work. If you visit the Communities page in N.A.N.I, under Denmark you will find a list of these organizations (

Lastly, our team also provides in-house training, which our customized training, matched to meet your specific needs and address the specific needs of the population you work with. If you'd like more information or have any questions, please feel free to contact me at

Michal Herbsman

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NVR in residential settings with younger chi...
10:27 02.24.2013
I attended the conference in Dordrecht last week. I was inspired by all the lectures. But especially by the one Michal gave about younger children.
I work in a residential setting. We try to help children from 6 to 18 years old. In our unit we aid children from 6 till 13.

The empowerment our workers (wards, educators) feel thanks to NA is amazing. But it still just feels like a start at the beginning.

In Belgium I would like the bring basic workers from residential settings together. To talk about NA, to exchange ideas, experiences. I hope to accomplice this by the end of this year.
In the meantime we continue experimentation and testing. The input of specialists such as Idan, Michal and others are needed.

From this perspective I would like to ask the following questions:
-Is it possible to get online-supervision to?
-It would be great to have a visit from Israel. But I fear this is not financially viable for our institution. Perhaps it can be feasible after or during another visit?
-May we put texts from your lectures on the forum?

With kind regards,


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19:48 02.27.2013
Hello Jules,
Its great to hear that you enjoyed the conference and I'm very pleased you enjoyed the lecture.
As for having more input and direction from the trainers here in Israel you have a few options.

- You can always use the forums to ask questions, and if you'd like we could also open a closed forum for your organization.

- We also offer on-line supervision (via Skype). If you'd like more details (as to cost and procedure), just contact me via email at

- In the course of the next 6-8 months some of us (trainers from Israel) will come again to Holland and/or Belgium (we will know the exact dates in the next few weeks). We also offer In-house trainings, where we are in contact with you as to the kind of work you do, and then (depending on your needs), we can come from one to three days and give you a customized training. IF that is something that you'd be interested in, you can contact me (or Idan) and we can discuss possible dates.
- Lastly, you can use any of the material from the site. It is part of our vision (and philosophy) of community and transparency. So spread the word!

If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me.
Best Regards,

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NVR in schools
15:09 12.13.2012
Thank you so much Tal for your reply. Your comments are very helpful. I will take your points into consideration and look forward to reading the article.

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NA in schools
Marc James
23:32 08.19.2013
Hi Patricia

I too am looking to work with schools around the new authority and would like to discuss what obstacles you have come across and progress made. My email:

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Suggestions to use NVR in schools
23:57 12.04.2012
Hi there,
I am looking for suggestions about people's experiences or literature applying NVR in schools. I have been doing training with local schools providing a brief introduction of NVR, so the schools are able to support the work I do with parents.
There is a particular school that works with children with disability interested in incorporating NVR in the whole school, but I feel my clinical work with individual cases, and the parenting program is not enough to support the school in this.
I would be grateful if members have further ideas about what way should I take, suggestions, literature (apart of the New Authority Book), or experiences that might be helpful to bear in mind to incorporate NVR in institutions.

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Suggestions to use NVR in schools
13:02 12.13.2012
Hi Particia

My name is Tal maimon and I'm a member of the New authority Center team in Israel. My major experience focus on applying the new authority guidelines in schools.
First, I want to say from our past experience, that the mission of applying the New Authority concept in schools is a very challenging one. In many cases the educational staff becomes very defensive when it come down to making changes in the way of thinking and more than that making changes in the way of acting. But as always in life overcoming challenges is one of the most satisfying feelings you can have at the end of the day…!
There are two main ways to assimilate the N.A and N.V.R in schools:
1. Hold lectures and workshops for the staff
2. Hold lectures and workshops for the staff and work parallel with the management team to help them implementing the NA and NVR and to set policy by using the New Authority concept.
The second option is more effective because you get the chance to work with the decision makers and processing the N.A and N.V.R with them before you present it to the educational staff. Usually it helps to overcome resistances.
After you define the way you work with school I will recommend to present N.A.& NVR following by these steps:

1. Introduction of the New Authority concept: first we characterize the guidelines of the authority that was acceptable in the past and then the Permissive ideology (that led to high levels of violence, dropping out, and low self-esteem). Then we present the N.A guidelines while emphasizing the Social legitimacy that it has.
2. Tools for class management – In this workshop we present tools for managing the class by adopting pro-active actions instead of re-active action (for example the 'bookmark'). We talk about preventing escalations and dealing with students' misbehavior while the teacher is teaching. The workshop is done in a regular school classroom and helps to gain support from the teachers who see the NVR trainer at the same position that they are on a daily bases. i.e. The NVR trainer is the teacher and the schools' teachers are the student (and believe me they behave like students.. :-)
3. New Authority tools for schools – In this workshop we present the N.V.R basic guidelines and then we practice the Sit-In version that we adopted to schools settings) by doing simulation and talk about them afterword. You can also combine explanations about Reparation acts in that lecture as well.
4. Relationship between teachers and parents – In this workshop we usually present tools for recruiting parents to join the educational staff for action against behavioral problems. We are working on ways that teacher can conduct a productive meeting with parents.
5. Relationship between teachers and teachers - In this workshop we usually present tools for teachers to recruiting other teachers to join together and react against behavioral problems together.
I hope that these guidelines will help you in your important work and I'm also attaching to all forum members a presentation by Idan Amiel about school work (It was introduced in a conference arranged by isi in Zurich). In February 15th I will also present our NVR school work at a conference in Netherlands. We will give more details soon.
Don't hesitate also to contact me by email:

Best regards

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Suggestions to use NVR in schools
13:16 12.13.2012
And one more thing, I will soon add an article (written by Idan amiel and I) under the "Resources" section. I hope you will find it relevant for you.

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Suggestions to use NVR in schools
23:12 09.01.2013
Hello Tal,
how are you? It was nice to meet you in Dordrecht last february and to have dinner with you and the whole team!
I wonder wheather your article about NVR and schools, that you mentioned here, is finished yet.
I could not find it in the 'resources'-section of the website, but maybe you can email it:
I am very interested to read it!
Kind regards, Eliane Wiebenga

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Suggestions to use NVR in schools
Tal Maimon
00:09 09.08.2013
Hi Eliane,

It's great to hear from you.
We had great time in Dordrecht! You and the other training participants were big part of that.
About the article - We will attach the article in the next N.A.N.I.​ newsleter which will be publish next month.
I will send it to you personally when it will be ready :-)

Best regards,

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