Activists' Community

Hello everybody,

since the training, everything has been going fast. It astonishes me how fast my teammembers (nurses, psychologists, teaching staff) are starting to talk in terms of "we", presence and resistance and how they are finding a different stance, less controlling, in relation to parents and children and each other. The community of the ward is clearly in a changing process and everybody likes it!
Having been to the training, I was also invited to report to the other child psychiatrists, psychologists and other therapists from our departement about the training. One question that rose was "how does NA and NVR relate to different cultural perspectives" ( the exact question was: "what happens when cultural norms and values are not in line with what we deem necessary for this child?").
I was a bit dazzled by this question, because my instinct tells me, since NA is about the universal bond between child and parent it surmounts cultural values (So I could only formulate the following answer: every parent wants, and has the right, to be present in the life of his/her child and opting in to NVR means learning selfcontrol, seeking support and respecting the child, so I think this is important for children no matter what the cultural values of the family are).
But it made me wonder, does anybody have experience with NVR in different cultures and are there limits?

Kind regards,
Elfi.

Hi,

I think that 'culture' is too much portrayed as a stereotype.
I also think that such questions as mentioned in the message of Elfi, are so difficult to answer, cause it needs a lot of thinking. Why this question? Is there another question that underlies it? Is there a frustration that joins it?...
Such questions make me think hard!
It seems to me that the idea could be that 'other than Western cultures' are always authoritarian.
The more I meet with people from around the world, the less I see the stereotypes in them, in their lives, in their stories, in their educational styles,...

I think it is important to define the impact of culture, the impact of social economic standard, of education, gender roles, of social background, of intergenerational beliefs and history, of personality, of the temperament of the children involved and of the availability of social support- before we conclude general things about cultures.
This question also involves in my eyes a static definition of culture. I'd like to bring in the dynamic perspective in culture.
When we stereotype, we will not get access to the particular kind of family life that maybe needs our support. I also think that involving the social network could be a very important step in seeing the dynamics of culture. One family can not show it on its own. When a group talks, you see the rich life of cultures.

I would even think that the common background and inspiration of international heroes like Ghandi and Mandela are a nice and shared starting point. As well as the critic on the permissive-liberal parenting style on the one hand, and the critic on the authoritarian style on the other hand. In many conversations with parents from other cultures the critics on the permissive-liberal parenting style is expressed, as well as the critic on the parental blaming culture, and the lack of social support and loneliness. The need for something else could be universal.
I offered to give a workshop to members of the federation of African organizations in Belgium because I think this theory could be warmly welcomed. I'll update you in this forum ;)

Of course, I really recognize the hard work that sometimes goes together with meeting people from other cultures: overcoming the differences and finding the things that people unite. I think the NVR and NA could be something that can unite us, as Elfi also wrote in her message.

lots of greetings,
Annelies

Thank you Annelies for your answer. I'm glad to hear about the workshop to members of the federation of African organizations. I'd even like to add that I have already talked about the NVR and NA concept with one father with African backgrounds. He was very enthousiastic. The concept of support network felt very natural to him and he felt strengthened in his parenting by just hearing of the concept. It is of course just one father and this can not be generalized, but it made me believe further in NA (as every contact with parents does using this stance, theory and practice).
I'm curious to hear about the feedback you will get when you have presented this.

Many greetings,
Elfi